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On The Road Again.

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Korova

New member
Hi!

First, I want to thank all of you (even if we disagreed on something) for your continued efforts to help me feel a part of this guild via your responses and updates on my first thread I created regarding Wildstar. So, thanks!

More over, I'm writing this as a pretense to a possible move, either within a week or two or within a few months.

I would think most people have an absolute 'plan of action' when it comes to moving across the country - they have jobs set or a house/apartment already located. If they don't have those, they at least have friends who try their best to help. It is with that, that I ask your help. Despite this being in part a reactionary event, I don't want this to sound like I'm begging to stay with someone - it's not quite like that, really. In fact I prefer solitude.

This is basically a kind of 'plan B or C' right now and as it operates, is a back up to my current endeavors and situation as it unravels. I know that I will be moving, but under what context and time frame depends on what will happen in the coming days and weeks.

Without going into great detail in this thread as to some of my motives, this has been something I've looked at for almost a decade now, so the nature of the move and what I kind of expect isn't new to me. There are processes which I may not be entirely familiar with but I have a handle on what I'm looking for.

Take this as it sounds, because just generally speaking, I want to get as far away from my home as I can. I've considered possibly moving to Canada, Iceland, New Zealand or another planet (if I could); but more realistically I am looking at areas such as:
  • The Hwy 5 Strip of Oregon - from Eugene, north to Portland/Vancouver
  • Toledo/Sandusky/Columbus and their local communities in Ohio
  • Ann Arbor/Monroe/Livonia and their local communities in Michigan
  • Salem/Lynn/Medford/Cambridge areas and their local communities in Massachusetts
However, I don't feel completely limited to these areas. That's where I'm asking, in general, for your help.

In a few words or paragraphs tell me about your home and what you like or dislike about your community *ESPECIALLY* if you live in one of the bullet areas. If you feel comfortable, please let me know in some detail about your living situation, if there are available apartments in your area and if you know some place or some one who could maybe help me out on my transition. Again, I'm really not asking for any kind of roommate or to crash anywhere. Which, that is not to say that after I find a job, I wouldn't be willing to go in on a place but that's not a point of concern right now.

I am fortunate to have a nice car and a small savings (very small) but enough that I think it could last me two weeks...maybe more - that is *IF* this situation evolves to the point of immediacy. I'm sure that this topic has come up on this forum before or that you've read into a similar situation - please know that while this is a request, I am intent and in many respects desperate.

If you are curious on a more personal level as to why I'm looking to move, please feel free to contact me directly via PM. I may get back to you, if I can or should or if I feel comfortable telling you more or if you want to know a little more about me as a person, feel free to inquire. Don't feel bad if I don't respond - I may not have read your message or I just may not be quite comfortable speaking to you yet, I'm very shy and anxious most of the time!

Thank you!
Ryan
 
Huh. I must say. You. Have. Balls.

I live a bit north of the Boston/Cambridge region (Portsmouth NH) and I absolutely love it. You have Boston 45-60 minutes away, beach 10 minutes away, mountains a couple hours away, and forest everywhere so you can anything you want with relative ease. Foxwoods Casino/Resort is about 2.5 hours away. The people are all really friendly in NH, and Boston people are really friendly once you become one of them. As long as you wear a Red Sox, Celtics, Patriots, Bruins or general Boston piece of clothing you're instantly accepted as one of them. Plus, we're all super united right now with all of the marathon bombings stuff... I mean, I know it's a negative overall, but it really has done wonders for the community afterwards.

I wouldn't necessarily live in the sectors you've mentioned, but that's because I've become spoiled being more north and not quite as used to urban living as those areas. I'd highly suggest going a bit more north into the NH area. If not just for a more balanced setting between urban and rural, but also taxes (lower income tax, no sales tax, etc.). It's typically cheaper in the long run for the same stuff. Plus it's just easier socially IMO.

But the job market is pretty hard right now. But I guess that's everywhere, huh?
 
Gyoin said:
Huh. I must say. You. Have. Balls.

I live a bit north of the Boston/Cambridge region (Portsmouth NH) and I absolutely love it. You have Boston 45-60 minutes away, beach 10 minutes away, mountains a couple hours away, and forest everywhere so you can anything you want with relative ease. Foxwoods Casino/Resort is about 2.5 hours away. The people are all really friendly in NH, and Boston people are really friendly once you become one of them. As long as you wear a Red Sox, Celtics, Patriots, Bruins or general Boston piece of clothing you're instantly accepted as one of them. Plus, we're all super united right now with all of the marathon bombings stuff... I mean, I know it's a negative overall, but it really has done wonders for the community afterwards.

I wouldn't necessarily live in the sectors you've mentioned, but that's because I've become spoiled being more north and not quite as used to urban living as those areas. I'd highly suggest going a bit more north into the NH area. If not just for a more balanced setting between urban and rural, but also taxes (lower income tax, no sales tax, etc.). It's typically cheaper in the long run for the same stuff. Plus it's just easier socially IMO.

But the job market is pretty hard right now. But I guess that's everywhere, huh?
Click to expand...


Wow! Thank you so much for telling me a bit about your home. Plus you took into account my social awkwardness - that's awesome lol thank you!

Hmm, I was looking at Vermont as well, and there are - I'm sure - nice places in NH near the coast (which is one of my preferences). While I take a more direct look via Google, are you aware of any apartments or complexes which have rooms available at a reasonable price?

Yes, I know most people are having difficulties with finding work. However, personally, the job aspect itself isn't a major reason why I'm moving. Well, it's absolutely important and imperative that I have an income- but this is my only way out, now. My primary focus is to find a statistically clustered population of people who are more genetically astute and empathetic than these violent, faith-blind people (different than moderate religious people) which are in my community and home. There really aren't any jobs here that I could do so, incidentally, moving would help me find work...I think. There isn't a lot that I'm qualified to do which would allow me to garner a livable wage due to my developmental disorder and my injury I sustained in an automobile accident two years ago. It's part of a reason why I have so much free time.

I want to be a productive member of society but I don't have it here and it's gotten worse for me the last few weeks. I know that no place is perfect - I'd just assume to go into deep space on a voyage alone or with one or two people and never come back than stay here.

Right now, I'm trying to find counseling services which will help me transition back into a school environment, because the nature of our capitalism - in most situations - demands I have to be an indentured wage slave just to have a *chance* to thrive and that's not to mention details of the extra difficulties it would take to prosper. However, it is what it is and I accept the reality I'm in, so I need that piece of paper which says I can do something good, I am capable, I can and should live.

My intent then is or has been to get back into school but not in-state. The universities here care more about their athletic departments and winning football games, than they do about helping the needs of their students.

This is escapism, but I know that there are things that won't go away, that processes will still fail at times, even if I do move. However things have been pushed in such a way that I'll know in the next few days or the next week or two if I'm just going to leave. I don't have any close friends or acquaintances I can count on IRL anymore so, my best recourse may eventually to be to re-roll the dice and hope that I can finally catch a break.
 
Hmm, well, I know in my area, I'm in a higher cost of living town than the surrounding ones and we're paying 1,100 for rent a month for a lower end apartment. A couple towns over, you could easily get an apartment for 900 that's a decent two bedroom, utilities included kinda deal, so it can be cheap depending on your exact location.

Vermont can also be kinda expensive as well and you'll also have more dense woodlands than in NH. It's all about being selective, so I'd highly recommend researching an exact location that you're interested in. First, I'd say look on craigslist for apartments and then google maps the location and look around. Hop around that way and you'll see general price ranges and what's in the area. I mean, if you're taking a shot in the dark, that'll be one of the best ways to "explore".
 
The way you talk, it sounds like you got the mayors daughter pregnant or something.

No worries.

I think I live about as far away from where you want to go as possible: Kansas. It is quiet and boring here. Except for tornadoes. There are those.

In any case, gl with wherever you land. As a wise man once said, "Wherever you go, there you are."
 
Keleynal said:
The way you talk, it sounds like you got the mayors daughter pregnant or something.

No worries.

I think I live about as far away from where you want to go as possible: Kansas. It is quiet and boring here. Except for tornadoes. There are those.

In any case, gl with wherever you land. As a wise man once said, "Wherever you go, there you are."
Click to expand...

Haha, thanks. This whole area is just toxic for my development as a person. I respect that we're all different and need different things. I just haven't found that place for me yet. I've lost all my friends and trust in people here and I don't know what to do except just drive. I know everyone has their problems and I'm not trying to escape responsibility of my problems, I'm trying to find help and a way to better myself. I don't mean to sound as though I'm condemning others or saying that my issues are worse than anyone else's - there's a third world worse than most of things I endure. However, some of what I've been through is approximately universal to the consensus of the human condition. Most of us can at least slip our toes into anyone's pair of shoes.

I'll definitely take a look into some apartment listings on craigslist, thanks for the advice.

A small update to my situation - things are improving slowly and progress is being made. I don't expect much to happen this weekend, but I'll know more Monday and Tuesday as appointments are made, conversations had and documents exchanged. That won't change the atmosphere, but at least I *might* have a support network developing so that I can depart on better terms and so maybe plan A will come through for me.
 
Well maybe at one point you will be able to share with us what has happened. This is the most intense conversation without context ever. :) For now I am wishing you luck.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I live in the Phoenix Arizona basin. I say basin because the Phoenix area spans over about 9 cities. It is considered the 7th largest city (I think) in America. You can find any social condition you want here. I live in the city of Tempe which houses Arizona State University and caters to the 20 something crowd. Drive 5 minutes and you are in Mesa which is mostly middle class residential. Drive the other way for 15 minutes and its Scottsdale and Paradise valley which is upper class. Central Phoenix is all business and sky-rises, south Phoenix is slums.

the culture here is like California, removed by a year or two. Add to that the kinda wild west attitude of get it done, but get along with your neighbors (if they aren't Mexican. there is some heavy racism against Mexicans here) There is also a very heavy presence of Mexican and Latino. Many of them are here illegal or a few generations removed from illegal. They do occupy the lowest wage unwanted jobs like janitors and day laborers. If you aren't racist against them, then its no big deal and they are just another group of people who live here.

I have been told that people in Arizona tend to be more polite than east coasters. Even though we kind of emulate the west coast mentality we seem to have less of the materialistic attitude that southern Cali has. Many, many people choose to retire to Arizona so we do have a larger demographic of older people.

The main thing you will have to deal with is the weather. It's already in the 100s for heat here and its only may. It will stay this way through September. Usually in the worst of summer its over 115. We also really don't have the other 3 seasons. At best we get spring that varies between cold spring and warm spring compared to other places. For some that is a good thing. It has snowed in Phoenix 5 times in my life. All 5 times the snow stopped and it melted within an hour. Only once was it enough to make snowballs. For some that mild winter is a good thing. It gets cold enough to wear warm clothing, but you don't have to deal with the typical crap winter brings elsewhere. Northern Arizona is much higher in elevation so you can easily go visit the snow if you are nostalgic.

Phoenix is only a 6 hr drive from Vegas or a 8 hr drive from LA. Flights are 45 minutes or an hour respectively.

As for cost of living, you can find studio appts for $300 all the way up to renting houses or condos for $3,000 a month. Which city and what location in the city you choose determines the housing prices. I pay $1,122 a month for a 3 bedroom house rental with a decent back yard. The Phoenix area is so big you can find a place to live based on where you work and find something that you can afford.

The public transit is ok but not near as good as some of the bigger cities I have seen like LA and New York.

All in all I love it. Nice weather if you can stand the heat, lots of culture that is varied. Big enough destination to have all the major things and all the major acts come to play here on tour and stuff. If you are willing to do what it takes you should never be out of work or a place to stay. You just may hate your job, but at least you can find one.
 
tr1age said:
Well maybe at one point you will be able to share with us what has happened. This is the most intense conversation without context ever. :) For now I am wishing you luck.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...



Thank you, that means a lot!

I don't know if there is a specific point in my life at which 'this' started, except in a sense, at birth. I live in a fundamentalist home - not Westboro Baptist, but still very ingrained in the word of god as absolute. Most of my life was filled with actual physical and emotional abuse...once I was actually beaten with fists or worse by a family member, emotionally isolated and tortured with toys being burned because they 'were of the devil'. If you play D&D, Magic or any other kind of game which doesn't say something nice about Jesus, or if you look too effeminate you're prosecuted not only by the most violent kind of people, but by those who you think would love and care for you. I couldn't finish eating at a local Subway, because people were looking at me like I had the plague and wanted to confront me about my hat and shirt I was wearing because I was sick of being oppressed.

I don't mind people who have a faith or spiritual belief...it's just when it becomes like it has been my entire life.

The health care and other professionals who were in a sense responsible for me at points in my life utterly failed me. I've never been able to keep close friendships with people and every time I develop one, it's gone within a few years. I've also failed myself, but it's alright because I'd rather risk worse and have renewed hope and a chance to live stable and maybe, if I'm fortunate, a happy and productive one as well.

Without going into more recent episodes, this bowl of water has been simmering and it's finally at an early boil. We all have our limits and my only chance is either to work through a solution which will lead me to be productive and independent (Plan A) or just leave (this post, Plan B). I'd rather end up homeless than deal with this any more.

I feel embarrassed and immature in many ways posting this, but I think that even as acquaintances or friendly strangers that some of you can offer advice and assistance. And for that I am grateful.



ThatOneGuy said:
I live in the Phoenix Arizona basin. I say basin because the Phoenix area spans over about 9 cities. It is considered the 7th largest city (I think) in America. You can find any social condition you want here. I live in the city of Tempe which houses Arizona State University and caters to the 20 something crowd. Drive 5 minutes and you are in Mesa which is mostly middle class residential. Drive the other way for 15 minutes and its Scottsdale and Paradise valley which is upper class. Central Phoenix is all business and sky-rises, south Phoenix is slums.

the culture here is like California, removed by a year or two. Add to that the kinda wild west attitude of get it done, but get along with your neighbors (if they aren't Mexican. there is some heavy racism against Mexicans here) There is also a very heavy presence of Mexican and Latino. Many of them are here illegal or a few generations removed from illegal. They do occupy the lowest wage unwanted jobs like janitors and day laborers. If you aren't racist against them, then its no big deal and they are just another group of people who live here.

I have been told that people in Arizona tend to be more polite than east coasters. Even though we kind of emulate the west coast mentality we seem to have less of the materialistic attitude that southern Cali has. Many, many people choose to retire to Arizona so we do have a larger demographic of older people.

The main thing you will have to deal with is the weather. It's already in the 100s for heat here and its only may. It will stay this way through September. Usually in the worst of summer its over 115. We also really don't have the other 3 seasons. At best we get spring that varies between cold spring and warm spring compared to other places. For some that is a good thing. It has snowed in Phoenix 5 times in my life. All 5 times the snow stopped and it melted within an hour. Only once was it enough to make snowballs. For some that mild winter is a good thing. It gets cold enough to wear warm clothing, but you don't have to deal with the typical crap winter brings elsewhere. Northern Arizona is much higher in elevation so you can easily go visit the snow if you are nostalgic.

Phoenix is only a 6 hr drive from Vegas or a 8 hr drive from LA. Flights are 45 minutes or an hour respectively.

As for cost of living, you can find studio appts for $300 all the way up to renting houses or condos for $3,000 a month. Which city and what location in the city you choose determines the housing prices. I pay $1,122 a month for a 3 bedroom house rental with a decent back yard. The Phoenix area is so big you can find a place to live based on where you work and find something that you can afford.

The public transit is ok but not near as good as some of the bigger cities I have seen like LA and New York.

All in all I love it. Nice weather if you can stand the heat, lots of culture that is varied. Big enough destination to have all the major things and all the major acts come to play here on tour and stuff. If you are willing to do what it takes you should never be out of work or a place to stay. You just may hate your job, but at least you can find one.
Click to expand...



Thanks a lot for your post. Phoenix sounds like a wonderful city and, if my health were in a position to move to that kind of climate, I would definitely consider it. I don't think it's necessarily that I have a preference on which coast..but due to hyperventilation issues, fair skin and the tightest ball of nerves you could ever come across, I have to be in an area that is constantly 'less sunny', a bit cold and with clean air (rainy is acceptable).

I visited LA and New York, but both for only a week or less - how long were your stays?

Assuming that I am to resort to 'plan B' and just leave, after spending a night or two at a rest stop, my first objective would be to find a place to stay. A $300-$400 down payment on a small apartment for one person sounds completely reasonable and within my means for the time being. Unless I can get a hook up on a job, which is not probable at all, I would go immediately to an employment center. There was one in my college town (before I became sick) and with the help of a friend, I had a job within three weeks of my move. That was in 2007. I don't think I'd have that kind of luck anywhere, today.

I will look over a few more apartment listings on craigslist and online, but so far I haven't located any place to stay should I go.

I've held down a few jobs in my life but due to impairments, there are only so many things I could do for a career-period of time.

Update on my situation: Nothing has changed since yesterday, but I was able to accomplish a reasonable amount of progress with some help. A lot hinges on the next three days.
 
Just a word of advice stay away from the coasts if you have 300 - 400 downpayment. I lived on both. And trust me you will NOT get anything for that. Hardly afford groceries on that.
 
tr1age said:
Just a word of advice stay away from the coasts if you have 300 - 400 downpayment. I lived on both. And trust me you will NOT get anything for that. Hardly afford groceries on that.
Click to expand...

A few requests before I reply,


First, if anyone here has been in a situation where they had to move with little else than a car and a very small savings, please feel free to send me a PM or reply here with how you made it.

Second, without any more context, if any of you could imagine a scenario such as the one that follows:- Without knowing why, you know that you're going as far away as you can and you never plan to return home. Where you end, is where you'll stay. You have a car and enough money to go a few weeks maybe two months if you're lucky. You have no friends or relatives to stay with where you're going, you're not very charismatic and it'll be hard to persuade others to help you. You have no qualifications outside of aptitude tests and performance skills inventories to get a job, but the odds are at best 50% in your favor of finding a livable source of income. You're not interested in crime, so robbing a bank is out of the question.

What do *you* do?


Anyhow, I was looking at apartments and although I noticed a few listings for $450 which seemed reasonable, I doubt my application would be accepted to lease a place 6 mo or a year. I don't have a steady source of income - just a purse left from insurance after my injury. If it comes to it, I guess I could live in my car for those days after I go to the employment center. In fact, that was the jest of my first few days/week once I arrived - Get there, find help/information/resources, get a job which I can handle that'll pay utilities, shelter, car insurance, food and clothing. Other securities which are not initially imperative come later. Get an apartment and build up from there.

Most do this at some point, but I'm one of lucky ones with out a support network.

The cost of living most anywhere is higher than where I live - I expect it; it wouldn't bother me so much as long as I had my necessities met on a daily basis and built up at a later point. It's just getting there which is going to be difficult.

I wish there was another way, it's just the way things have worked out until this point. Fortunately, I have a bit of reason and hope to expect the first few aspects of my primary plan to work and so, I don't think I'm going to just jet right now. Now, the full extent of my primary plan may not work but I'm taking half-sized baby steps right now, just to hold on to possibility.

I want to thank everyone again who has taken the time to make me feel at ease and offer advice. Thank you.
 
What you may want to do is decide on a destination then do some internet searching for apartments. Make some phone calls to tell them you are planning on moving to their area and what do they need for first time renters. You will likely fine a setup that will let you sign a lease. First hurdle done.

Do you have any type of credit card? debit card? if so you can always rent a cheap motel or hotel for a time, although those are more expensive than an actual appartment.

After you get a place to stay the first priority is find a job. Any job, even pushing a broom or collecting trash. You could even lay the groundwork right now by calling around from internet adds from the area you are looking at.

If I had to do it I would pick a place, do some research then go. I would highly suggest to pick the biggest city possible. More options on everything. Tr1age was right with the coasts though. Don't move all the way to the coast cause living is way more expensive there for the same thing. Stay a state or 2 away from them.
 
ThatOneGuy said:
What you may want to do is decide on a destination then do some internet searching for apartments. Make some phone calls to tell them you are planning on moving to their area and what do they need for first time renters. You will likely fine a setup that will let you sign a lease. First hurdle done.

Do you have any type of credit card? debit card? if so you can always rent a cheap motel or hotel for a time, although those are more expensive than an actual appartment.

After you get a place to stay the first priority is find a job. Any job, even pushing a broom or collecting trash. You could even lay the groundwork right now by calling around from internet adds from the area you are looking at.

If I had to do it I would pick a place, do some research then go. I would highly suggest to pick the biggest city possible. More options on everything. Tr1age was right with the coasts though. Don't move all the way to the coast cause living is way more expensive there for the same thing. Stay a state or 2 away from them.
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Thanks again,

This is along my lines of thinking. I'm still not committed on a place, but I've narrowed out Ohio. Columbus seems like a nice place but, I'd like to be near the water - whether it's the ocean or a great lake. I live close to a lake in the Tennessee Valley and I know the real estate in the local area is absurd, so I'm fine looking for a place an hour or a bit more out from the water - my breathing really benefits from being near water-cycled air (chronic hyperventilation syndrome).
 
Korova said:
Thank you, that means a lot!

I don't know if there is a specific point in my life at which 'this' started, except in a sense, at birth. I live in a fundamentalist home - not Westboro Baptist, but still very ingrained in the word of god as absolute. Most of my life was filled with actual physical and emotional abuse...once I was actually beaten with fists or worse by a family member, emotionally isolated and tortured with toys being burned because they 'were of the devil'. If you play D&D, Magic or any other kind of game which doesn't say something nice about Jesus, or if you look too effeminate you're prosecuted not only by the most violent kind of people, but by those who you think would love and care for you. I couldn't finish eating at a local Subway, because people were looking at me like I had the plague and wanted to confront me about my hat and shirt I was wearing because I was sick of being oppressed.

I don't mind people who have a faith or spiritual belief...it's just when it becomes like it has been my entire life.

The health care and other professionals who were in a sense responsible for me at points in my life utterly failed me. I've never been able to keep close friendships with people and every time I develop one, it's gone within a few years. I've also failed myself, but it's alright because I'd rather risk worse and have renewed hope and a chance to live stable and maybe, if I'm fortunate, a happy and productive one as well.

Without going into more recent episodes, this bowl of water has been simmering and it's finally at an early boil. We all have our limits and my only chance is either to work through a solution which will lead me to be productive and independent (Plan A) or just leave (this post, Plan B). I'd rather end up homeless than deal with this any more.

I feel embarrassed and immature in many ways posting this, but I think that even as acquaintances or friendly strangers that some of you can offer advice and assistance. And for that I am grateful.
Click to expand...

That really hit home with me. I am a fundamentalist Christian, also brought up in a very conservative home. I had to hide my Yu-Gi-Oh cards because my parents were convinced they were demonic. My step dad exorcised demons from me on several occasions, and hit me on one or two others. I came very close to running away from home when I was 17, halfway through my senior year. Well, almost running. I called my birth dad who lived in Indiana and said I wanted to come live with him. He was arranging everything for me; I even picked colors to paint the bedroom.

But then I reconsidered. I searched my heart and cried out to God (oddly enough, I found my experience pushing me towards God instead of away). I was able to recognize that my behavior and choices were negatively impacting my relationships. Although I knew that my stepdad was not free of blame (far from it) I decided to stick things out and try to make it work. It wasn't easy, but I did it somehow. Our relationship isn't great, but we understand each other.

I now look back at that point in time as very pivotal for me. I feel that if I had run from home, I would have run from God as well. I would have made very different choices, and I would not have the wonderful family that I do today.

I'm not trying to make any judgement about your decision to get out of a situation. I just wanted you to know that other's have faced times like that too. Guess what? I'm still alive. Happy too, no less. So there's hope.

To tackle Koro's question- it's hard for me to imagine a scenario without family, but I could see myself surviving on faith alone. I'd feel at home and welcome in most Christian communities. And despite Koro's and my own unfortunate experiences, most people are actually really good people, Christian and otherwise. I'm reminded of the documentary "Craigslist Joe" where he lived on the kindness of Craigslist strangers and traveled across the country. Not that I recommend that- it's also a good way to meet serial killers.

So I'm not sure what I would do. As for you, Koro, if you do end up in the Kansas City area, drop me a line. I'll make sure you get a roof and three squares at least.
 
Korova, I consider myself Agnostic most days and on some days Atheist. My sister and mother are strong Christian believers, with my sister dedicating her life to outreach by working full time for YoungLife. I was never pushed into any of it but I was brought up in a baptist church.

Other than my sister, Kel is the only person I have ever met in my life who can be a full believer in Christianity and still be open minded enough to allow others to have a differing belief system. Kel may not agree with the belief, but allows for the right for others to have their own beliefs. If I were you, Kel would be the go to person for questions or discussions relating to faith as it pertains to your Christian upbringing.
 
Keleynal said:
That really hit home with me. I am a fundamentalist Christian, also brought up in a very conservative home. I had to hide my Yu-Gi-Oh cards because my parents were convinced they were demonic. My step dad exorcised demons from me on several occasions, and hit me on one or two others. I came very close to running away from home when I was 17, halfway through my senior year. Well, almost running. I called my birth dad who lived in Indiana and said I wanted to come live with him. He was arranging everything for me; I even picked colors to paint the bedroom.

But then I reconsidered. I searched my heart and cried out to God (oddly enough, I found my experience pushing me towards God instead of away). I was able to recognize that my behavior and choices were negatively impacting my relationships. Although I knew that my stepdad was not free of blame (far from it) I decided to stick things out and try to make it work. It wasn't easy, but I did it somehow. Our relationship isn't great, but we understand each other.

I now look back at that point in time as very pivotal for me. I feel that if I had run from home, I would have run from God as well. I would have made very different choices, and I would not have the wonderful family that I do today.

I'm not trying to make any judgement about your decision to get out of a situation. I just wanted you to know that other's have faced times like that too. Guess what? I'm still alive. Happy too, no less. So there's hope.

To tackle Koro's question- it's hard for me to imagine a scenario without family, but I could see myself surviving on faith alone. I'd feel at home and welcome in most Christian communities. And despite Koro's and my own unfortunate experiences, most people are actually really good people, Christian and otherwise. I'm reminded of the documentary "Craigslist Joe" where he lived on the kindness of Craigslist strangers and traveled across the country. Not that I recommend that- it's also a good way to meet serial killers.

So I'm not sure what I would do. As for you, Koro, if you do end up in the Kansas City area, drop me a line. I'll make sure you get a roof and three squares at least.
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Thanks for sharing your story,

Although I chose to stay here as well, it's only because I'm afraid and I don't want to cause my parents the same pain they've caused me. After all, most of the time living in my room isn't such a bad thing - it's underwhelming and small - but I rarely have to be confronted with extremely negative situations, despite for a strong malaise of unfortunate ignorance. Unfortunately, the traditions and maledictions that are tied to them are to the better part of my community as well. It's just a bad place to live if you want to get anywhere in life - even if it's just to be more normalized.

I see a few paths forward now that I don't care if I make it - my plans are my own and I can go out (leave) on my own terms if I really wanted to. I doubt I'd ever want to stay with anyone, but thank you for the invite - on the bright side, I'm sure that in the distant future we may end up playing the same game or perhaps if there is a guild meet up in the future, I may come to say hi.

This will probably be one of my last updates in a while - I've just been waiting until Tuesday or Wednesday to know if things looked like they could move forward, and I think that for the time being enough progress has been made such that I will stay for at least a few more weeks. Regardless of success or failure, I don't plan to stay for more than another 13-14 months (assuming complete success).
 
I don't know much about you, but you sound young with your whole life ahead of you. Try to not let your present circumstances get you down. The one thing you can count on is that circumstances never stay the same. If I can give you one last wise word (not sure why I'm on this kick right now)- As the wise man who ate the golf ball said, "This too shall pass."
 
Well if you want a place free of judgment, New York City would not disappoint haha. Cost is definitely an issue; but you don't need a car! I read through this a bit but didn't see - what kind of jobs would you want? Just something to get by? Sorry if I missed this, its hard to navigate forums well on my phone. If you want to know about New York at all, let me know!

Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using Tapatalk 4 Beta
 
Crake said:
Well if you want a place free of judgment, New York City would not disappoint haha. Cost is definitely an issue; but you don't need a car! I read through this a bit but didn't see - what kind of jobs would you want? Just something to get by? Sorry if I missed this, its hard to navigate forums well on my phone. If you want to know about New York at all, let me know!

Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using Tapatalk 4 Beta
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I could be interested! If it's an area that's particularly close to the water (within 50-100 miles of coast line, or closer depending on immediate costs of living) then definitely feel free to post something about your home town and/or surrounding areas. After I get used to the air, my breathing issues pretty much go away.

If you prefer, send me a PM.

My situation has improved a bit, but my plan hasn't ran full circle. If at any point it completely fails, I'm ready to go. Jobs - with respect to what I could do, my longest held post was while I was working was as a data entry clerk (copying and manipulating state documents into a precise format). It was a wonderful side job for a college student, especially since I had a friend at the time who helped me get the job. The hours were the worst because it was quota-oriented and it changed from day to day.

I've also worked as a tutor (no credentials except word of mouth) off and on, helping K-12 students with a variety of subjects including mathematics, science, history and music. The job descriptions I think I would have most difficulty with would be anything requiring me to use my back/bend over due to a hip injury I accrued in an automobile accident or anything that requires me to deal with more than one or two people at a time - service oriented positions.
 
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